Foaas Client

A client for FOAAS.

API Version

Version 1.0.0 of the FOAAS API is supported.

Usage

Basic Example

require 'foaas-client'

fuck = Foaas::Client.new
fuck.off('Bob', 'Alice')

i18n

fuck.off('Bob', 'Alice', i18n: :es)
#=> { 'message': 'Vete a la mierda, Bob.', 'subtitle': '-Alice' }

Response Types

fuck.off('Bob', 'Alice', type: :html)
#=> '<html>...</html>'

fuck.off('Bob', 'Alice', type: :json)
#=> '{ "message": "Fuck off, Bob.", "subtitle": "- Alice" }'

fuck.off('Bob', 'Alice', type: :jsonp)
#=> 'fuck && fuck({ "message": "Fuck off, Bob.", "subtitle": "- Alice" });'

fuck.off('Bob', 'Alice', type: :text)
#=> 'Fuck off, Bob. - Alice'

fuck.off('Bob', 'Alice', type: :xml)
#=> '<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>...'

Shoutcloud

fuck.off('Bob', 'Alice', shoutcloud: true)
#=> { 'message' => 'FUCK OFF, BOB', 'subtitle' => '- ALICE' }

Methods

Anyway

fuck.anyway('Acme', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Who the fuck are you anyway, Acme, why are you stirring up so much trouble, and, who pays you?', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Awesome

fuck.awesome('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'This is Fucking Awesome.', subtitle => '- Alice' }

Back

fuck.back('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Bob, back the fuck off.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Ballmer

fuck.ballmer('Bob', 'Alice', 'Clara')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fucking Bob is a fucking pussy. I'm going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to fucking kill Alice.', 'subtitle' => '- Clara' }

Bday

fuck.bady('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Happy Fucking Birthday, Bob', 'subtitle' => '- Alice'}

Because

fuck.because('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Why? Because Fuck you, that\'s why.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Bm

fuck.bm('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Bravo mike, Bob.', 'subtitle' => '-Alice '}

Bucket

fuck.bucket('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Please choke on a bucket of cocks.', 'subtitle' => '-Alice' }

Bus

fuck.bus('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Christ on a bendy-bus, Bob, don\'t be such a fucking faff-arse', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Bye

fuck.bye('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuckity bye!', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Can I use?

fuck.caniuse('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Can you use Bob? Fuck no!', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Chainsaw

fuck.chainsaw('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Bob. Do I look like Mother Teresa?', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Cool

fuck.cool('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Cool story, Bro', '- Alice' }

Dalton

fuck.dalton('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'msessage' => 'Bob: A fucking problem solving super-hero', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Diabetes

fuck.diabetes('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'I\'d love to stop and chat to you but I\'d rather have type 2 diabetes.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Donut

fuck.donut('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Bob, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Do something

fuck.dosomething('Write', 'Code', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => ' 'Write the fucking code!', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Everyone

fuck.everyone('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Everyone can go and fuck off.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Everything

fuck.everything('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck everything.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Family

fuck.family('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck you, your whole family, your pets, and your feces', 'subtitle' => '- Alice'}

Fascinating

fuck.fascinating('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fascinating story, in what chapter do you shut the fuck up?', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Field

fuck.field('Alice', 'Bob', 'Clara')
#=> { 'message' => 'And Alice said on to Bob, "Verily, cast thine eyes upon the field in which I grow my fucks", and Bobgave witness onto the field, and saw that it was barren.', 'subtitle' => '- Clara' }

Flying

fuck.flying('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'I don\'t give a flying fuck.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

#### Gfy

```ruby
fuck.gfy('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Golf foxtrot yankee, Bob.', 'subtilte' => '- Alice' }

Give

fuck.give('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'I give zero fucks.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Greed

fuck.greed('greed', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed -- for lack of a better word -- is good. :noun is right. greed works. greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. greed, in all of its forms -- greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge -- has marked the upward surge of mankind', 'subtitle' => '- Alice'}

Horse

fuck.horse('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Keep

fuck.keep('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Bob Fuck off. And when you get there, fuck off from there too. Then fuck off some more. Keep fucking off until you get back here. Then fuck off again', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Keep calm

fuck.keepcalm('paddle', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Keep the fuck calm and paddle!', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

King

fuck.king('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ Bob, you are fucking thick.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Life

fuck.life('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck my life.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Linus

fuck.linus('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Bob, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Look

fuck.look('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Bob, do I look like I give a fuck?', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Looking

fuck.looking('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Looking for a fuck to give.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Madison

fuck.madison('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => What you\'ve said is one of the most insantely idiotic things I have ever heard, Bob. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points Bob, and may God have mercy on your soul.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Me

fuck.me('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck me.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice'}

Mornin

fuck.mornin('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Happy fuckin\' Morning\'!', 'subtitle' => '- Alice'}

No

fuck.no('Bob', Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'No fucks given.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice'}

Nugget

fuck.nugget('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { ''Well Bob, aren\'t you a shining example of a rancid fuck-nugget.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Off

fuck.off('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck off, Bob.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Operations

Note: This is not an "insult" method, it returns the avialble "insult" operations. Additionally, this method only returns JSON.

fuck.operations()
#=> [ { 'name' => 'Ballmer', 'url' => '/ballmer/:name/:company/:from', 'fields' => [ { 'name' => 'Name', 'field' => 'name' }, { 'name' => 'Company', 'field' => 'company' }, { 'name' => 'From', 'field' => 'field'} ] }, ...]

Outside

fuck.outside('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Bob, why don\'t you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself?', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Pink

fuck.pink('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Well, Fuck me pink.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Pulp

fuck.pulp('English', 'Alice')
#=> { 'messsage' => 'English, motherfucker, do you speak it?', '- Alice' }

Retard

fuck.retard('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'You Fucktard!', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Sake

fuck.sake('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'For Fuck's sake!', 'subtitle' => '- Alice'}

Shakespeare

fuck.shakespeare('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Shutup

fuck.shutup('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'messasge' => 'Bob, shut the fuck up.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Single

fuck.single('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Not a single fuck was given.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Thanks

fuck.thanks('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck you very much', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

That

fuck.that('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck that', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Thing

fuck.thing('it', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck it.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Think

fuck.think('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Bob, you think I give a fuck?', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

This

fuck.this('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck this.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Tucker

fuck.tucker('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Thumbs

fuck.thumbs('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Who has two thumbs and doesn't give a fuck? Alice.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Version

Note: This is not an "insult" method, it returns the version of the service.

fuck.version()
#=> { 'message' => '0.1.0', 'subtitle' => 'FOAAS' }

What

fuck.what('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'What the fuck?!', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Xmas

fuck.xmas('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Merry Fucking Christmsa, Bob', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Yoda

fuck.yoda('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck off, you must, Bob', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

You

fuck.you('Bob', 'Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Fuck you, Bob.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Zayn

fuck.zayn('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Ask me if I give a motherfuck ?!!', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

Zero

fuck.zero('Alice')
#=> { 'message' => 'Zero, thats the number of fucks I give.', 'subtitle' => '- Alice' }

foaas-client

Development

Runtime